Why am I riding my bike with Venture Expeditions? They wanted to know first why I chose to ride by bike and this is what I told them. Raw and unedited. Alright, slightly edited, because sometimes I type too fast.
Why are you interested in participating?
I’m tired of opting out. I’m tired of dreaming about being adventurous and then allowing money or effort keep me in the same place I was the year before. At twenty-two years old I was fresh out of college and hopeful for all the great jobs waiting to land in front of me.
When it was time to type out a Resume or mail a cover letter, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tell an insurance company I wanted to work for them or sit in a creaky chair behind a reception desk. I took a job selling windshields, I wore cheap heals, drank black coffee, and cried every damn day.
In the midst of my self induced misery, I started writing for Prodigal Magazine and read stories from others about travels with Venture Expeditions. I applied, interviewed and then allowed fear and the possibility of hard work motivated me to drop out.
I actually love my job now, I don’t cry everyday and I don’t wear cheap heals. I have more purpose in my life now more than ever before. It seems like I need a Venture trip less than I did three years ago, perhaps that is the very reason it’s time for me to go.
Peter Rollins writes about walking out of apathy and into the desert. He suggests it is in a dry and lonely place where we begin to thirst again. I chose to walk into the desert this year and I am now thirsty to be apart of a purpose bigger than myself.
It’s time for me to be the one on the bike.
Briefly describe your faith journey
Picture a Kirk Cameron movie character: the one with the bible in her purse and on her lips. The woman who sings hymns in the correct key and prays for her neighbors. Can you see her? Everybody likes her, they invite her to dinner parties and ask her to lead youth retreats.
Now picture that Kirk Cameron woman auditioning for the role of Borat. Provocative, outrageous, awkward, unkept, all of the above. This is my “faith journey.”
Here’s the truth, at twenty I believed in God everyday. I don’t believe in God everyday anymore, I don’t think Christians are the only good characters with black and white truth. I think every human on earth has their own story to tell and I want to make space for these stories.
I am learning not be ashamed of doubt, I am remeasuring what is valuable to living a healthy life.